There are only two ways to live life: in fear, or in love. And at the end of the day, the choice is yours.
We have all heard these terms here and there, especially because they are very popular phrases in the spiritual community, especially in the twin flame, manifestation, tarot videos. So maybe you've heard these words and understand what they mean, or the context, or why they are talking about the importance of surrender in regards of those topics, but couldn't ever fully put it into practice.
Because what does it mean to "let go of the outcome"? What does it mean to surrender? Surrender from what? And why? Even if you aren't on a twin flame journey, or care about manifestation or tarot, letting go is one of the hardest, but most useful "skill" you can acquire and practice in life.
So what is surrendering and what does that have to do with awakening and healing?
When we talk about surrendering, it means accepting the fact that we are not in control of our lives. When I say "we," I mean our human selves, our egos, our minds. We are just bodies: the vessel, the carrier, because what we actually are, are souls. And that soul is not yours, not your partner's, not anyone's, but it's from Source. From God, Universe, the Divine, whatever term you are comfortable using. All souls are from the same Source, and all souls are connected to that Source, in this very moment you're reading this, and that means we are all connected as well. That's why there is no real separation, ever, only the illusion of it. We are all from Source, and that means, we come from it, and we return to it. Return "home" to that same Source. So you might think, your mind is in control, your ego, the one telling you how to live your life, what to do with it, but your ego is so small, compared to the divine that has been guiding you your whole life. You might think that life-changing idea came to you out of nowhere, but of course that's not the case. Something bigger has been guiding you, and has been within you the whole time.
Your ego is your identity, but it's not strong enough to be in charge. And that's what it means to surrender: accepting the fact that you're not in control, not as much as you thought you were. There is a big chance you're reading this and your very ego is protesting and telling you, "yeah, no way, every decision I've ever made was mine." But was it really? When someone you loved walked away, or died; when you had to move to another country for some reason; when the house you've lived in was demolished by a hurricane... none of those were your decisions. Those things happened for a reason, every single one. That's what it means to surrender: accepting that at every second, something small or big can happen in your life, for a reason. Happen FOR you, not to you. Because it's all been planned, and so, nothing is by chance.
And yes, the ego hates it. The ego wants to be big, and in charge, and thinks it knows everything. It's not the bad guy: your ego is there to protect you, it has been with you since birth, and will be with you till you die. But that's about it: your ego is just there to protect you, or try to protect you from pain, because let's be real: pain is unavoidable. In this life, on Earth, we come here to experience love and grief. Our egos try to avoid feeling, avoid feeling pain, and grief, but it's part of the experience. And we have to accept it, so all we can do is: surrender. Whatever happens, happens for a reason. And all you have to do is trust yourself enough, that when the time comes to face what needs to be faced, you will be strong enough not to crumble and be able to deal with it.
If you went through any form of spiritual awakening, you already know ego deaths are part of the package deal. And for a reason: the more your ego dies, the closer you get to Source. The more your actual soul can shine through and lead your life, and you can start to live from love, not fear. Not old conditionings, not old beliefs, not fear of what's to come, but living in the moment, present, full of acceptance and love, because you trust that Source is guiding you to something better, at every second. It knows better what's good for you, than you ever could.
And what does it mean to "let go of the outcome"?
It means, try to live in the moment, be present as much as you can: not looking back at the past (pain), or worry about the future (anxiety), but in the now. Experience it fully, but don't get attached to what could happen, because you can't know. You just can't. Your whole world can turn upside down in a day, so what's the point of worrying about something you can't know? And the more you live in the now, the more you let go of what could possibly happen (and go wrong, as we humans tend to catastrophise everything), the less fear you feel, the less worst-outcome you think of, the better opportunities come into your life. That's the magic of it: the more you let go, the easier your life gets. It's always inner shift, then outer. You change within, your whole world will change. But in order for that, you have to let go of who you thought you were.
How do you actually surrender? Control what you can, and let the rest be guided and taken care of by Source.
What you can control is:
- what you eat and drink – if it's alive in nature, it will flourish in your body as well
- the media you consume – what you consume makes up your thoughts and habits
- the little habits that make up your everyday – the habits that give your nervous system the sense of normality it needs
- the love you have for yourself – first and foremost, before anyone else, you are and should be your nr.1 priority
- your sense of fulfilment and gratitude – are you always craving for more and more? Never satisfied, never happy?
- your circle of people – are they feeding your soul or your ego?
All these small things you can control, and matter so much: because what you absorb and consume, that's who you become. What you absorb, you integrate over time. All this is within your control. The rest? Leave it for divine. What is meant for you, will come to you. You don't need to chase, you don't need to rush, don't need to force – that's all the ego. The ego wants control to avoid pain, but you can't live a happy, fulfilled life that way, living in constant fear. Especially because, we can't know how the chapters in our lives will end. Even if we cling, they can leave. Even if we want, we might not get. All we can do is accept that it's for a good reason. We are here to learn lessons, after all.
The more you surrender, the less you live in a constant state of fear. Because you trust, in yourself, in the Divine. And that’s the frequency of love. The choice is always yours.