Like a spring shower, it began quietly.A drizzling rain kissed the earth, soft and gentle,while sunlight still slipped through the clouds.

In theory, it's always so easy. Seems easy. You know all the whys and hows and whats in your life. You can see the repeating patterns and motives and cycles — you can see it all clear as day. You know where you went wrong before, you know why, and so you know what to do next. So much self-awareness, so much pattern recognition, so much inner work and healing. You've done it all. And you're doing great, better than ever, you're happier than ever.

Everybody knows it’s always easier for those who walk away, and harder for the ones who stay behind. That’s why I know you had it easier — of course you did, because you decided to leave. The easier way, the escape. You walked away, or more like ran away, and didn't even dare to look back for months. A whole year.

I’ve been thinking about how my dad always used to drink bitter drinks — tonic water, bitter lemon, lemon water, etc. I have no idea why. And I’ll never know, because he passed when I was 18.

Sometimes I feel like I can’t breathe properly, under the pressure of this. The bond. The energies. This higher power, whatever this is. This unseen force that’s telling me: feel it and see it, don’t run away from it, because you can’t anyway. You tried to, and someway, somehow, it always caught up to you. So I must feel it, and so, what does that say about me now, who has always been a non-believer…

It’s funny, how it went down. So funny that now I’m questioning — who gets the last laugh? Because it’s a funny story, actually. Ours.

But what the hell is even a “Twin Flame” and how come I’ve never even heard of it before?These were my first thoughts when I stumbled upon the first twin flame video on TikTok, roughly two years ago. Because I definitely never even heard of this term. Maybe in a few songs, or movies I’ve watched, but the term itself never stuck with me for some reason. So, what are “twin flames”, and why are we even talking about them? The concept of twin flames can be traced back to ancient philosophies, mostly Greek, Hindu, and esoteric mysticism. But the actual term “twin flame” started popping up more in New Age spirituality around the late 20th century—though it gained major popularity thanks to YouTube, TikTok, and the spiritual girlies doing deep dives during their Saturn Return.According to a Greek myth, humans were once androgynous beings with two faces, four arms, four legs—a whole celestial unit. But the gods got jealous and split them in half. Since then, we’ve been walking this Earth, searching for our other half.

I still feel like screaming sometimes. Curse the hell out of everyone and everything, mostly fate, especially the universe. For putting me through this, because I have to blame someone. Let me blame it on… anyone but me. Let me be the victim just a bit, just for a short while, let me be weak and cry about this “happy ending” now…