Like a spring shower, it began quietly.A drizzling rain kissed the earth, soft and gentle,while sunlight still slipped through the clouds.

In theory, it's always so easy. Seems easy. You know all the whys and hows and whats in your life. You can see the repeating patterns and motives and cycles — you can see it all clear as day. You know where you went wrong before, you know why, and so you know what to do next. So much self-awareness, so much pattern recognition, so much inner work and healing. You've done it all. And you're doing great, better than ever, you're happier than ever.

Everybody knows it’s always easier for those who walk away, and harder for the ones who stay behind. That’s why I know you had it easier — of course you did, because you decided to leave. The easier way, the escape. You walked away, or more like ran away, and didn't even dare to look back for months. A whole year.

I’ve been thinking about how my dad always used to drink bitter drinks — tonic water, bitter lemon, lemon water, etc. I have no idea why. And I’ll never know, because he passed when I was 18.